Surviving!

Well, this is Day 2 of on-call and so far, I'm making it through. Yes, there have been calls, and yes it has taken me awhile to fill some shifts, but overall it has not been as bad as I expected. I think it's what my coworkers would call a "good" on-call weekend. There are still 2 days to go, so hopefully I am not jinxing myself!

This is something I have never written about in my blog before, but three years ago in August, a dear friend of mine from high school was brutally murdered when she went for a bike ride on one of the city bike paths. She was missing for a few days before her body was found and me and some other friends took part in the volunteer search for her. As time passed, I knew it would be bad news, but I just kept hoping. I will never forget the day I heard on the news that they had found her. It was one of the most awful days of my life. They have a suspect in custody (thank God!) who was picked up last year and during the preliminary hearing, he apparently chuckled and grunted as my friend's family watched on. The trial continues on this year.

The reason I'm bringing this up now is that the other night, I had a dream that I was playing cards with some friends, and all of a sudden, there she was playing cards with us. I gave her the biggest hug and told her how scared I had been and how happy I was that she was alive. She just reassured me that everything was OK. And that's the last I remember of that dream. Three years ago after everything that happened, I went to her parents' place one morning to drop off a card with a mass offering in it to let them know how sorry I was. My friend always loved cats and she had one named Blue that looked like a part persian and it had the most beautiful blue eyes. That morning that I dropped off the card, I turned around to head back to my car and there was that beautiful cat staring me in the eyes. This may sound weird, but it was like my friend's spirit was there again, like the dream, telling me that everything was OK. I just looked at the cat for a moment but didn't want to pet it for some reason. And then I cried all the way home. Maybe I was looking for messages where there were none, but sometimes I wonder if these types of things are more than just coincidence. I still get a lump in my throat when I think of everything that happened.

Sorry this is so heavy. I must be thinking about this more because the 3 year anniversary is almost here. This was hard for me to write about, so thanks for taking the time to read.